We
idealize love. We see it as some lofty cure-all for all of life’s problems. Our
movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate
goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result,
our relationships pay a price. Just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t
necessarily mean they’re a good partner for you to be with over the long
term. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who doesn’t treat us
well, who makes us feel worse about ourselves, who doesn’t hold the same
respect for us as we do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves
that they threaten to bring us down with them. while love may make you feel
better about your relationship problems, it doesn’t actually solve any of your
relationship problems.
The roller coaster of emotions
can be intoxicating, each high feeling even more important and more valid than
the one before, but unless there’s a stable and practical foundation beneath
your feet, that rising tide of emotion will eventually come and wash it all
away.
Love is not always worth
sacrificing yourself. when it comes to sacrificing one’s self-respect, one’s dignity,
one’s physical body, one’s ambitions and life purpose, just to be with someone,
then that same love becomes problematic. A loving relationship is supposed
to supplement our individual identity, not damage it or
replace it. If we find ourselves in situations where we’re tolerating
disrespectful or abusive behavior, then that’s essentially what we’re doing:
we’re allowing our love to consume us and negate us, and if we’re not careful,
it will leave us as a shell of the person we once were.
Love is
great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. But love is not enough. And like I
said before falling in love is easy, staying is hard.
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